1) Black humour

• "Knock, knock"

- "Who is that?"

• "Your Mrs. Death"

- "F**k you!"

• "Well, I write a rectal cancer..."

2) Chuck Norris

- "Who set fire to my house?"

• (Chuck Norris) "I..., why?"

- "It burns very beautifully."

3) Somalia

- Do you know, how to eat Somalia "ham and eggs"?

• Without ham, eggs, only with a slice of bread.

4) Facebook

(teacher) - "Please, no comments."

(student) • "But "like" I can give, right?"

5) School

- "I´ve got 5 from test, what about you?"

• "I´ve got 4..."

- "You are nerd..."

My day
My day start, when I get up at 6:30. I go to the bathroom in downstairs. I clean my teeth and a wash my face. Then I dress up. I wear underwear, jeans, socks, T – shirt and sweatshirt, then I use antiperspirant and perfume and I brush my hair.
I go to the kitchen and I make breakfast and snack to school on my own. My breakfast is cup of tea, bread with something (jam, cheese, ham …) or cereals with milk. Snack is almost the same, but I don´t drink a cup of tea, I drink a bottle of juice or mineral water.
At 7:15 I must go to the bus stop, because I live in Žitenice. The bus stop is near my house (about 5 minutes). I get out in Litoměřice and I go on foot to school about 10 minutes.
I am at 7:45 in front of school. Our lessons start at 8 o´clock and I leave school at 13:45.
I go to the training after school and I go home at 15:30. When I am at home, I do my homework and help my mom with dinner. At 19:00 we have dinner and after dinner I take a shower, clean my teeth, brush my hair and I have “free time”. In my “free time” I am on computer (on Facebook of course :D) and I watching TV, listen music… And at 22:30 I go to the bed and I sleep.
That´s my normal day :)

My New Year´s resolution is to win a Championship of Czech Republic in rowing. It´s really hard, but I can do that I will regularly train and eat, relax and try to overcome.

This is my next assigment. I must have 5 questions of "Would you rather...?". Here are:

- Would you rather have pernament smile or non-stopping tears?

- Would you rather have a gorgeous face and not-so-hot body or hot body and a not-so-gorgeus face?

- Would you rather know WHEN your going to die or HOW your going to die?

- Would you rather be loved by Satan or hated by God?

- Would you rather be buried alive or burned alive?

- Would you rather have the sun shine forever or have it rain forever?

Christmas in Tugleys are other than in Czech republic. They celebrate Christmas on 12. January. People in this country decorate their house with fruits and when it they listening animal sounds. Their favourite fruit is water melon. When they decoreted their house, moms must cook "Christmas lunch". Normally they have semolina pudding with pears, roasted chestnuts, soy meat with potatoes and they drink goat´s milk. And why they don´t have meat in their menu? Because Christmas present give them animals after the lunch. The Christmas are 2 days long and Christmas holiday are 1 month.

I think, I prefer Czech Christmas, because I like meat. :D

So, this is my firs homework. It´s about words. I must invented new words. Here it is:

1) semipretty - It´s a boy/girl, who isn´t pretty, but he/she isn´t ugly. ___ [I think, I´m semiugly.]

2) pseudofriends - It´s a false friend. ( he/she is liar, fraud... he/she isn´t frank.) ___ [I really don´t like pseudofriends.] 

3) unpooress - It´s a girl or woman, who isn´t poor, but she is rich. ___ [I would be unpooress.]

4) uncleany - This word means "disorder".  ___ [My bedroom is forever uncleany.]

5) kilochocolate - It´s one hundret 100g chocolate with nuts and caramel. ___ [I would have my house from kilochocolate.]